memo

i’m unusually mentally exhausted, cleared my calendar for energy rejuvenation.

obj: no “work” or strategizing today - only recharge and replenish energy. write, read and recovery-essential tasks.

todo

• am routine/yoga

• read + write

• transfer SEAS account files

• ask Ash abt keyboard shortcuts

• follow up brian

• financials - debt pmt, autopay, coinbase

• led CSR meeting on efficiency

• outreach to wealth advisors (path)

writing

0200pm

life feels empty when you strive, push towards a goal but nothing is there energy feels depleted when the moments aren’t alive. where do i go?

ive taken breaks i’m supposed to sit with this feeling interrogate, accept, absorb

whats the whole point of this? you go to school, read some books, write some papers, graduate from college work some job, meet some friends, find a partner, move and buy a house raise a kid, maybe two, or maybe 3, get old, pass away

like where is the story? where is the legend, the immortal moments? i don’t really feel super engaged with this whole process.

yeah, my life summed up is: go fishing, play some tennis, get into upenn, leave to ski and do photography, return and do research, meet ski team, co-found a company, train for an iron man… like what else am i supposed to do?

its not all about making money to secure my long-term retirement. its kinda boring, saving all of this money. its not difficult, but doesn’t get me fired up about life. maybe finding a female partner matters, creating more art/self expression, or doing DMT for the first time

i need to find more 0 -> 1 moments. traveling to other countries or making money no longer have this appeal. these 0 -> 1 moments are fundamental, dimensionally revealing and unearth a new mode of interacting with the world.

I’ve realized the world is rigged, unfair, nasty and brutish. makes absolutely no sense we have to follow all of these arbitrary “rules” in society, many of which we never consented to. mismanagement of finances, corruption, misaligned technology development - the list goes on about what we’ve done wrong.

and trying to solve d