7:55 PM
Like between theory and practice -
The intellectual learning side of me, wants to dive deeper into systems neuroscience and how it enables sensory and perception - along with non-interpretable mechanisms which can be modeled directly with AI model development and training. I have natural fascination with these topics, and wish I could study physics or electrical engineering if I had more time. This is done autoletically, for its own sake and my intellectual fascination. But the constraints are while I build my startup or financial backing, I can’t really fully explore this
Then, there’s the applied, business side of me - being very good at interpersonal connection, building startups, working as a true operator in the Zen tradition, being in the flow state talking to customers, building Agorum, scaling our user base. Its embodied flow - operating autonomously, playing the game, interacting with investors, customers and being in the arena. I want to build something that is aligned internally with my values and I have control over the pace.
These two sides I’m feeling so tangibly right now - I’m charging up all this energy, held back being at Farm Bureau, sitting behind the desk all day.
However, this is my unique edge - I’m in the lonely chapter right now because very few people in the world have such depth, interest and orientation between these 2 worlds. The decade even life long question is how do I synthesize these into my aligned life?
Even as I write this, I get energized, even though this doesn’t directly contribute to revenue for the startup - but its the refining in thought and synthesis I embrace right now.
I’ll let the world and unvierse deliver what is deemed true. I’m already living and thinking authentically - I can’t force anything too much.
So how do I become the bridge? That is what I’m struggling to articulate and execute operationally. I have all of these smaller vectors pulling my interests, but I can’t somehow aggregate them into a productive direction.
Maybe the break through is assymetric? Maybe since nobody else is approaching it how I am, I am in the dark for years, alone - only thing to guide is my intuition. And then suddenly, overnight, the flip switches and it all makes sense.
HOwever, I realized as I meet my basic needs - I can devote my remainder of my time focused on gleaning these insights as AI and the world develops. I’m embodying the artform and creating a new domain, years ahead of other people.
I’m writing this all down, talking with the AI model - but alot of the “frontier work” will be done in the physical real world. Applying everything into reality - stress testing.
Even those spontaneous interactions - like the NC Art Museum, taking the last ticket to visit an art exhibit, talking the docent, or very “universe spontaneous” events, which even the best models cannot simulate.
I really believe that there is something else, which models can’t simulate about our world. But trying to figure out this gestalt about the physical world is hard to apply and bring back to AI.
I’ll keep following my intution, my instincts because that has brought me closest to my source.
Perhaps the intuition I have can’t be cleanly defined as “math” or “engineering” excellence. Its in its own paradigm, which I inhabit and embody. My excellence can be seen through my process, and eventually work once it materializes.
I can’t compare myself to more conventional “engineers” or doctors or researchers by materialistic metrics created by societies and other humans in a reductionistic frame.
I need to become my own metric, and become SO excellent at it - the byproduct is people cannot help but notice. The world will bend to my will and motion that I’m creating.
7:22 PM
I’m really not sure where I’m going. I’m taking one step at a time, building on my startup insights while staying true to my path.
Awareness, but not complete distraction from deep work. Its this embodied obsession - injecting human-ness/life into AI systems. Decoupling from the necessity to be revenue generating, that is so important.
I'm continuing the work from a few weeks ago - delving into exceptional designs, interiors, which makes you feel a certain way.
This nourishes the soul right now - not necessarily socializing with people, but deeply developing a concept into fruition
LLMs will recombine knowledge, and super charge these innately human qualities.
Yoga flow states, embodied experience, sensations and the embedding of time and space. Nobody else is able to grasp the time and space modalities which I’m mobilizing.
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