Meditations
8:22 AM
Is preparing for a biomedical engineer role/hardware engineering just to get the entry level 2 years experience worth the opportunity cost?
Or should I find a more hybrid role? The issue with these are they require 3-5 years of experience
Also, the dilemma between software vs hardware.
Given that I’ve already seen past the prestige/clout illusion with consulting - is it still worth recruiting for consulting to get more “altitude” so I can more readily transition into a sales engineer or hybrid role? Or do I go deeper into the consumer tech space focusing on operations and sales?
I really dont know where things are going. I feel that I’ve hopped around so much, and hit boundary points. My path is so non-traditional, where I can’t really go into medical devices which were generally my interest. I haven’t built up substantial compounding in one domain yet. I feel that I’m jumping around every 2 years and have not really launched into a full-time position. I have the skillset of operations/sales etc, but intersets of an engineer, but gravitate towards startups and art. Its so hard to understand where I belong.
Its so difficult recruiting for regular jobs. I realize I want money and flexibility to have more autonomy over personal art projects, explorations - allow me to learn engineering on my own terms. However, I want to build wealth through a job that I’m naturally good at and can sustain myself.
I think this internal notion of needing to be an engineer is holding me back. I’m having angst, difficulty trying to combine and optimize my different interests and aytpical combination of skillsets.
The hard part is there aren’t any real roles which fit the ideal yet, and I have to either settle for sales or engineering as an entry level position to get myself through the door. The sales -> learn engineering skills -> solutions engineer role makes more sense. Should I go back to school and gain more technical skills/altitude before trying to recruit again? I wish I specialized more in a technical discipline.
This is so freaking annoying. I need to take a mental break from obsessing over this too much. This takes years, consistency and clarity to realize. Let go of all attachments and the path will emerge.
Let go. Embrace the present moment. Minimize resistance and allow maximum displacement.
3:50 PM
Ok, just coded for about 3 hours this morning and the afternoon. Co-pilot is nice, but it doesn’t quite get the job done like cursor. I’m having issues with the package management.
Too much coding just hurts my brain.
After 4 hours, my brain drains and I need a nap or need to rest. Also, just realized how the odds are. Take 100 shots, make each count, iterate quickly. It only takes 1 shot on target to make the whole thing worth it.
9:21 PM
One must be careful in what they pursue, especially when the path to both glory and infamy runs through the same road. seeing the evolution of startups, tech in the Bay Area, how algorithms are taking over, and how quick people are to flip like Richard did in sacrificing Yumin principles in humanity, for ambition, fame and glory.
What drives someone to strive so hard? They must be a broken person, where they’re only purpose in life is to achieve this ambition, to win in dominate at all costs. It’s almost a pity. from the world, they construct around which dominates media, narratives, and material phenomena, infiltrates, or collective psyche, that they have attained this mythical success, when really, they are deeply empty inside, and are just as confused, scared and unsure about their meaning in life.
It’s interesting seeing how people have changed after college, and how their pads and lives, priorities, decisions, and true nature gets revealed through their work. And this is only the start, since people are in positions of power, and influence in about 10 to 20 years we will see much more of their manifested character affecting the world.
With technology and a future where liberties are becoming increasingly encroached upon, surveillance, technology are really converging on human abilities, it will be scary to see how these powerful tools will ultimately shape the human experience.